JEANNIE'S STORY

"I was in a deep dark hole, and you[Michael] came and lifted me out"

Once upon a time I was a little girl who tap danced and dreamed of being a Rockette. But, in the days of the Great Depression and the Big War, it was wrong to think of yourself and service to others was the way to Heaven. So I put my dreams aside and became a mental health counselor. And although I tried very hard to do my best, there was always a hidden regret that I kept secret and a question in my heart that asked, "Why aren't you following your dreams?"

When I grew older and retired from 35 years of service, I decided that I wanted to travel and took several tours of Europe but strangely began to long for Ireland. No,I'm not Irish- except that my grandmother once told me that I was English, Dutch and Welsh and whispered "a little bit of Irish". I never asked where that came from so gave no more thought to it until it bubbled up and called me like a siren's song. So I took a tour of Ireland.
The moment the plane flew over the Green Land, I knew I was home. And after the trip I became very sad because I believed that now I had done it all. I was having a lot of pain- called "rheumatiz" in the old days. As I sat in my chair, gloomy and feeling very, very sorry for myself, I watched a show on public television called Riverdance. There it was- dancing and Ireland wrapped up together. Suddenly I was startled by a white bird in flight. No, it was not a bird, but a man in a white blouse that flew across the stage, his feet making sounds I had never heard before at such an incredible pace one saw them as a blur. I realized that I had sat up so quickly I was falling out of the chair. My eyes and ears were glued to the TV set and later when the announcer said his name I wrote it down. "Michael Flatley" and put the paper next to the chair to be sure and remember it.
About three months later, the station announced another fund drive and the showing of "Lord of the Dance", Michael Flatley's own show. At first I didn't recognize him as he made his entrance in the first number. Gone was the blond innocent boy and in his place a determined man, wiser perhaps but saddened by some tragedy in his life. But, the show was brilliant and so was he. The station announced that they would also show the story of how Lord of the Dance was made and that is when IT happened.

In "Making of LOTD" Michael talks about himself and how he got up off the canvas after being fired from RD and risked everything on his own show. Then in a scene showing him boxing, the camera moves in on his face and he says,"Pain is an unusual thing". I looked at that face and was drawn in to his voice and the words. He seemed to come into the room with me and by the end of that speech when he said the words, "If you start making excuses because of pain you'll never get anywhere" he was speaking to me directly. "He is talking to me, he means me", I thought, and got up from the chair and declared, "No more of this. I have places to go and things to do and a life to live".
It became my goal to see the show in person. And after some phone calls I learned that he would be in Albany at the end of April. It was scary to drive that long distance alone and stay by myself, but do-able. In a moment of excitement, in the new found inspiration, I wrote my first fan letter and sent it to the venue. I had to say, "Thank You" and tell him how he had changed my life and given me the courage to do what I thought I could not do. Remarkably when I got to the hotel in Albany I saw familiar faces. The LOTD troupe were just arriving and I was surrounded by these very young and beautiful men and women. Of course, sitting in the nosebleed section with binoculars seemed like heaven. I had no clue then of how many times or in what distant places I would see them all again.

There was a message on the phone back at the hotel. A woman's voice with an Irish accent asked me to phone her the next day at noon. Sleep was impossible and the hours dragged on endlessly but finally I called and the voice said, "Michael was very touched by your letter and asked me to give you something. Can you meet me in the lobby?" It was an autographed photo of himself that said, "Jean, Love" and his strange signature with an X- a kiss sign. I was ten feet off the ground with joy and a smile that would be there every time I thought of that moment. And so the little girl who was now an old(er) woman finally began to follow my dreams.

So it began. I found the LOTD website, the Visitor's Book, the tour dates and haunted the library almost daily waiting to use the computer. I went to California to visit a friend and we drove to Sacramento to a show. I bought a scalper's front row ticket for San Francisco and talked to all the ushers about Michael as if I was an expert. They asked me to stay and usher for the week but I was due to leave the next day.
I found that the show would be in Toronto and bought tickets for all six nights. And there I had my first chance to meet him. Taken by a newly found friend, we waited for hours. The lights were off and we waited in the dark. When the limo came out it stopped at least 100 feet away and the very tall and imposing bodyguard came toward us. He held a flashlight on us and began a litany of "Don'ts". No touching, no posing with him for photos, no, no ,no. I was afraid to move for fear I would be asked to step away. Then the door to the car opened. I could barely see anything but when Michael stepped out I gasped. He was surrounded in a brilliant light. Not just an aura over his head, but totally bathed in light. I froze and my head told me that I was having an hallucination. I was afraid and when he came down the line I couldn't speak. He signed my program but didn't look at me as he was laughing and talking to someone else. As he left, he rolled down the car window and looked out. As if we had rehearsed, in absolute unison, we said, "We love you Michael" and he called back, "I love you,too." And then he was gone. My new friend, asked, "Did you see the glow?" "You saw that, too?", I stared at her in awe. "Of, course", she replied. "I saw it when he was here the last time, too". And as I later learned, we were not alone. The seeing of the glow helped to bond many of the group. Stories of inspiration were shared and some with lives desperate enough to contemplate ending it all were brought back to hope for better days and found them.
Determined that I would never be tongue tied again, I drove to Indianapolis and rehearsed what I would say when I saw him the next time. It was one line and I knew it had to be short and powerful. As I remember it went, "Michael, I was in a dark hole and you brought me into the light and I wanted to thank you." The first night in Indy I met a woman who was to be like another daughter. We were drawn to each other and it was more of that amazing magic that was to be part of my life from then on. We waited together for hours in the cold but didn't mind. When he came out I was ready. And when he was beside me I spoke, "Michael" and he looked at me with that intent way his eyes draw you in and you become the only two people in the Universe. "Yes, sweetheart?" I spoke my line clearly as I had planned. In a split second he had me in his arms and he kissed me and whispered some words in my ear. Those words of reassurance allowed me to forgive myself and set aside all regrets of things undone, to see the road ahead and to find the courage to follow it. In just a moment he did that. What might have taken years in therapy he did with gentle words of love and acceptance. There was no stopping me now.

I bought a computer solely to communicate on the VB. And I was welcomed with open arms. My friendships grew and I found a place where I felt both needed and wanted. And what fun we had together. When Michael announced his last U.S. show in San Antonio I was there. And when he became ill in Australia I joined others in sending him healing energy. I saw the pleas for help and the requests for good energy and light and let my heart think instead of my head. There were reports of healing and those who believed that this energy had made the difference. Why question it?

Michael's philosophy became mine. Keep the negative things out. Believe you can do it if you try hard enough. Don't let others tell you what to do. You should follow your dreams. And so when he returned to the stage in England I was ready to "just go for it". I went to Wembly where he arranged with security to have his VBers brought in front of the stage during the finale to give the standing Os. I went to Dublin where a hundred or more VBers gathered in a park, hugging and kissing and crying with joy at a "family" reunion the likes of which no one could believe. I saw the rain clouds disappear and the double rainbow just as the show started. Every night the rainbow appeared that way. I stayed in Ireland in a little cottage in Tipperary until time to go to Hyde Park for the Feet of Flames. I bought the ticket for the fancy reception and met Ronan Hardiman. I knew it wasn't the last dance. I knew he would be back in spite of the Empty Shoes he left on the stage. And I was right.

I went to Erfurt and they put me on German TV. Ham that I am, I loved it and remembered that I had a message to give about this amazing man, his kindness to us, his gentle nature so unlike the arrogant man the press had invented. Then I was asked to take his Birthday present- a book of love letters- to him in Mannheim. I stood out in a drenching rain, in thunder and lightening and prayed that the Book wouldn't get wet. And when the sky cleared and the moon shone, he came. I gave him the book and saw his face light up because he was so touched by the gift and that we had remembered his Birthday. The next night he came out and told us he had read much of it and had opened other presents and went around thanking us and seemed reluctant to leave. Then there was Belfast and we had the luck of front row center seats. At the end we wanted to take him roses but the security guards were there telling us to go back to our seats. But, Michael was calling us to come forward and I heard him say to me, "Come on, dear" and I went past those guards like a hot knife through butter. Later, I laughed to think that I had been so bold but now it was clear. Nothing can stop me if I am determined.
Somewhere along the road, one of the Vbers got a part in the Sound of Music. She was to play a nun and said she was calling herself, Sister Mary Flathead. As a joke I said, "If you are a nun then I must be Mother Perfect". And the name stuck. Then in another bit of silliness we wished for "whirled peas" and that was mixed in and I was nicknamed Mama Pea. I guess you had to be there to understand that one.

FOF 2001 came home to America. And I was at every show. And lately I have been to Birmingham, England for the filming of Celtic Tiger, to Budapest for the premiere there, to Madison Square Garden, to Canada and beyond with plans to go to Germany, Austria, England and of course, back to Ireland.
Is this an obsession, a drug, a silliness that marks me as an old fool? There are those who think so. But, my son and daughter-in-law are Deadheads and she told me that going to a Grateful Dead show was a renewal of her spirit. That it was like a big ball of love that bounced between the stage and the audience. As I remember the skies clearing and the rainbows that appear wherever Michael appears, I know that this is much deeper in meaning than just a show and a dancer. I now know people in South Africa, Germany, Taiwan, China, Japan, England, Sweden, Belgium, Holland, France, Lebanon, Israel, Brazil, Russia, Poland, Hungary, Czech Rep. and all over the US, Canada and Ireland. They have different nationalities, religions, ages, education, jobs and lifestyles. But, they are not that different in their dreams and hopes. Michael has brought us together and shown us that we can live together and laugh together and find joy together. It may only be a small thing in a big world that some days seems filled with ugliness, hatred, war and greed. But, it is a sign that we CAN live together in peace and it is growing every day as more and more people from more and more countries write in to say, "I saw the show. It was the greatest show I have ever seen and I will never forget it. Michael Flatley has changed my life".
With Love, Light, Laughter, Good Energy in PEACE..... Hugs, Jeannie

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